折腾不止
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折腾不止

通往幸福的秘密

(本文分享给一个对我而言非常重要的人)

我知道你遇到了一些困难,希望本文能对你有所帮助。

多年前,我在 zen habits 读到一篇文章 The Three Secrets to Happiness (三个通往幸福的秘密)。此后,我一直践行这三个秘密,渐渐地,我明显感觉到自己的整体幸福感在提高。

我知道你看不懂英文,所以我将全文翻译成中文。


We all know that money can't buy happiness - but many times we act as if we'd be happier with a bit more money. We are conditioned to want to be rich (when we know the rich aren't happy either); we are trained to want the latest gadget or style that television tells us to want; we want to earn more money because then we'll have the good life.

我们都知道金钱买不到幸福——但是很多时候,我们表现得好像,多些钱会更幸福。我们总习惯于想变的富有(尽管我们知道富人也并非总是幸福);我们总想买电视介绍给我们的新玩意或新款式;我们总想赚更多钱,因为有钱才能享受美好生活。

But none of that will bring us happiness. No matter how much we earn, no matter how much we have in the bank, no matter how nice our clothing or cars or toys, none of it will make us happier. And the sad thing is that it could take us decades of pursuing wealth and luxury items before we realize this.

但是,那些都不能带给我们幸福。无论我们赚多少钱,无论我们有多少银行存款,无论我们的衣服、轿车或玩具多么漂亮,都不能让我们更幸福。而可悲的是,在明白这一点之前,我们或许已经花费了数十年时间去追求财富和奢侈品。

So what will bring us happiness? Luckily, it's three things that don't cost a thing. These three things have been prove by research - surveys of hundreds of thousands of people about what they have, what their lives are like, and how happy they are.

那么,什么才能带给我们幸福呢?幸运的是,有三样东西,它们不花分文就可以得到。这三样东西的作用已经被科学研究证明——来自对数十万人的经济现状、生活情况和幸福程度的调查。

Here they are, the Three Secrets to Happiness:

以下就是三个通往幸福的秘密:

  1. Good relationships. We have a human need to be close, to be intimate, with other human beings. Having good, supportive friendships, a strong marriage or close and loving relationships with our family members will make us much more likely to be happy. Action steps: Take time, today, to spend time with your loved ones, to tell them what they mean to you, to listen to them, and develop your relationship with them.
  1. **良好的人际关系。**我们人类需要与他人保持亲近和亲密。建立良好的互助的友谊、稳定的婚姻或者亲密友善的家庭关系将让我们变得更幸福。行动步骤:从今天开始,拿出时间与你的亲人在一起,告诉他们,他们对你有多么重要,倾听他们的谈话,培养与他们的关系。
  1. Positive thinking. I'm obviously a big proponent of positive thinking as the best way to achieve your goals, but it turns out that it can lead to happiness too. Optimism and self-esteem are some of the best indicators of people who lead happy lives. Happy people feel empowered, in control of their lives, and have a positive outlook on life. Action steps: Make positive thinking a habit. In fact, this should be one of the first habits you develop. Get into the habit of squashing all negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones. Instead of "I can't" think "I can" . It may sound corny, but it has worked for me, every time.
  1. **积极的心态。**我一直旗帜鲜明地认为,积极心态是实现目标的最佳方法。事实证明,它还可以带来幸福。乐观和自尊是拥有幸福生活人们的最佳指示标志。快乐的人感觉精力充沛,能掌控自己的生活,并拥有积极的人生观。行动步骤:养成积极思维的习惯。事实上,这是你应该养成的首要习惯。摒弃所有消极的想法,代之以积极的心态。不想“我不能”,要想“我能”。这听起来很土,但对我来说效果一直很好。
  1. Flow. This is a popular concept on the Internet these days - the state we enter when we are completely focused on the work or task before us. We are so immersed in our task that we lose track of time. Having work and leisure that gets you in this state of flow will almost undoubtedly lead to happiness. People find greatest enjoyment not when they're passively mindless, but when they're absorbed in a mindful challenge. Action steps: Find work that you're passionate about. Seriously - this is an extremely important step. Find hobbies that you're passionate about. Turn off the TV - this is the opposite of flow - and get outside and do something that truly engages you.

3) **心流。**这是目前互联网上很流行的概念——当我们全身心投入到眼前的任务或工作时,就会进入心流状态。我们如此沉浸于某件事情以至于忘记时间。拥有能让你进入心流状态的工作或爱好,毫无疑问将带给你幸福。人们的终极快乐不可能在消极无意识的状态下获得,而只能在专注于挑战时获得。行动步骤:找到能让你激情投入的工作,真的——这是极其重要的一步。找到能让你激情投入的爱好。关掉电视——它不利于产生心流——走出去,做一些真正吸引你的事情。

You've been given the Three Secrets to Happiness. Don't waste them!

你已经知道了三个通往幸福的秘密,千万别浪费!


**幸福感与处境关系不太大。**哪怕身无分文的乞丐,依然可以很幸福;就算是亿万富翁,自杀的也不在少数。

依据以上三个秘密,下面是我对你的忠告:

  1. **不要践踏感情。**亲情和友情是无价的。在经历挫折身处逆境时,我们通常不能很好的控制情绪,从而有意无意地给爱我们的人造成伤害。但是,终有一天我们会发现得不偿失,有钱也买不回亲情和友情。所以,越是受挫的时候,越要注意呵护亲情和友情,否则我们将一无所有。
  2. **不要再消沉。**无论任何困境,人的心态都可以是积极的。我知道这不太好接受,你或许会认为我站着说话不腰疼,不理解你的状况。试想在一个无限楼层的房子里坐电梯,无论我们在哪一层,我们都有两个选择:向上或者向下。积极的心态就是向上,消极的心态就是向下。就算处在 18 层地狱,我们依然可以积极向上,努力爬到 17 层,从而改善自己的处境——或许依然很艰难,但至少有所好转。哪怕什么都做不了,也要把身体锻炼好,否则如何东山再起?
  3. **找到爱好。**当我们全身心投入到某件事情的时候,我们不仅仅会忘记时间,我们还会忘记一切烦恼。每当我受到挫折或进入低谷,我就会去玩爱好,写作就是我的爱好之一。爱好帮助我跳出当前状况,进入忘我的状态,让我恢复平静。爱好或许不太好找,但是如果不去尝试,我们永远也不可能找得到。

处境确实很艰难,但是我们依然可以很幸福,而能够决定这一切的只有我们自己